In all things...give thanks.

Sometimes, it's just hard.

I don't always feel it.  I want to.  I know His promises are true.  There are days, however...

I want to thank Him and be grateful for everything.  How do I do that when I'm not?  I'm not thankful when I am struggling.  It hurts sometimes, and it's difficult for me to just accept it for what it is.

Then...

I draw strength from others, and from what I know to be true about God.  Last week I made a thankful tree.  I found the idea on www.aholyexperience.com.  It has helped me pause and reflect for a moment on what matters most - God.  There I can find the strength to remember something that I can be thankful for, no matter what else is going on.




Glory be to God, He is my strength and my song.  He can bring me out of whatever funk I find myself in, and for that I am thankful!



Holding on, for that moment my sadness passes and I am refreshed and renewed. 

I know it will come, sooner rather than later.  Thank you, Jesus!

Remembering....

This was written several weeks ago, but came to mind today as I reflect on the last two years since my mom passed away...

 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.   Matthew 5:4

 It amazes me how God cares so much about us.  He sends just what we need, often at unexpected moments.  His timing, however, is always perfect.

Sunlight streams through the window and dances across the kitchen floor. The kids are off to school, my husband has gone to work, and I am home alone preparing to clean up a little. The house is quiet and I am deep in thought. Being at home during the day is a blessing to me.  I am so grateful for the chance to study, catch up on chores, and get the house in order. 

I pull out a blue cloth and a spray container from under the kitchen sink.  Squeezing the trigger on the bottle sends a mist of liquid onto the rag in my hand.  Lavender scent fills the air.  Instantly, tears well up in my eyes and thoughts flood my mind.  Her smile, gentle touch, ability to make delicious food, knowledge about nature, deep love for her family and several other meaningful memories bring warmth to my soul. I will never forget the story my sister told me about my mother’s last night here on earth.

Bedridden and under Hospice care, my sweet mom had fought a hard battle with Alzheimer’s Disease.   The evening before she passed away, a caring nurse came to her bedside and bathed her.  Softly the woman sang to my mother as she gently wiped her skin with lavender oil.  I remember my sister telling me that it brought her to tears to watch this exchange of love and compassion.

I know this morning was a gift from the Lord, because He knows how much I miss my mom.  I know she is restored and with her Savior.  I am grateful for His promises and His Word.  Truly I was comforted with beautiful thoughts of my mommy as I cleaned and became refreshed with the sweet smell of lavender.

Adjusting

It's the daily connection I miss most.  His tall self coming through the door after a night at work, or hearing him say "aight ma.  love you." as he heads out to the store or to hang with friends.  I miss his smile and his laugh. That dry humor that we always share.  I especially miss praying with him each morning and night.

I have done better than I thought I would with him being away at college.  I truly thought I'd cry all the time and have a really hard time adjusting.  It felt like it was the right time when he went, and getting him all settled in went really smoothly.

Just some days.....

I'm truly grateful for the phone calls and texts, no matter how short they might be.  I am thankful that he is doing well and hasn't called begging to come home because he just can't do it.  Really, I have so much to be grateful for.  However, I still miss my baby!

Lord, please continue to shower Your grace, protection and love over my children, all of them.  I ask that you continue to order the steps of the one who no longer is here each day with us.  I can see now, so clearly, where my faith is being strengthened and Your will is being done.  Thank you, Father, for showing me how to train up my kids to know You and love You.  No matter what may come our way, our lives are in Your hands and it is truly a blessing!

A Morning Walk

As I walked this morning, I was tenderly reminded of the beauty of God's creation.  Considering the fact that I am currently studying the book of Genesis, my eyes were opened even more as I considered how it all came to be...

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.  God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.  God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.  ~Genesis 1:1-5


Stunning blue skies and the bright, warm sunshine welcomed me as I headed out my front door.  As I tackled the hilly path toward the road I would follow, I was captivated by all that was going on around me.

Creaking tree trunks swaying in the gentle breeze...

Acorns plummeting to the ground and bouncing off driveways... 

Distinct bird songs to  greet me as I rounded the corner...

Colorful plants and flowers stretching for the sunlight...
 
Grasshoppers leaping across my shoes...

Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.  And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. ~Genesis 1:29-31

 

 

Being able to enjoy all these things this morning had me feeling truly grateful.  Not only for the fresh air and cool fall temperatures, but for the amazing way my Lord blessed me.  God is purposeful and organized.  He cares about the details, both in His creation of nature and of His children.  I hope as you experience the changes that come with the fall, you will refelct for a moment on all that God has created for you to enjoy.  It is truly incredible!

College bound...

Well, here we are.  Tomorrow is the day.  It will hit me deeper, I'm sure, when I actually drive off campus after leaving my son.  I have known that this day would arrive since the moment I laid eyes on my amazing bundle of joy 18 years ago.  Outstretched arms, eyes tightly squeezed shut, wailing mouth calling out for help.

Then I held him, in my arms, close to my heart.  Quiet came.  We looked into each others eyes and the bond began...

I feel a flood of emotions.  Happiness because he made it and is going to college!  Blessed that we are able to send him to a school he feels good about attending.  Unsure about whether or not I prepared him enough for this moment.  Proud of his accomplishments thus far.  Selfish that I kind of don't want him to go.  Ready to let go because it is time...

Lord, thank  You.  From the depths of my heart, thank You.  I know that You love him even more than I do.  You created him and know the desires of his heart.  You have promised to guide him and love him and help him and for that, I am grateful.  You have plans for him, not to harm him, but to give him hope and a future.  Oh, the blessed peace that comes from knowing these things!

I take my oldest son to college tomorrow.  Those words make me feel so many things, but most of all, they make me feel so excited!  I look forward with anticipation to see my son find himself, grow in wisdom and knowledge, and become a man.

Summatime

Ahhhhhh, summer...taking the boat out, staying up late, sleeping in longer than normal, not having a set schedule each day, attacking and completing several projects that have stared me in the face for months...

I really like being home during the summer.  Even though my kids are getting older and most of the time they are either working, with friends, or in their room, I still feel extremely blessed and privileged to be here for them.  My heart is full and happy and I am going to enjoy each moment that I have with them.

Being able to take walks with friends, going to the pool, getting ice cream, and basically flying by the seat of our pants feels good!  I wouldn't like to do this always, as I do thrive on routine and knowing what comes next, however it is a nice break from the busyness of the school year.

My oldest is heading to college in less than a month.  It is strange, yet feels right at the same time.  He is ready.  I am ready.  Didn't think I would be, but I am. My middle son is driving now, and he just got home from a month away at a summer vocal program held at Radford University.  Maybe having to adjust to him being gone and missing him was my preparation for the letting go I will face in August...My daughter will head off to Middle School this year.  So in a nutshell, this is a big year for our family.

God is so faithful.  He has prepared me and equipped me to deal with all of these milestones and I am so grateful to Him!  I had several moments of doubt, fear, and feelings of inadequacy as I thought about all of the changes taking place. Then He lovingly stepped in and removed those feelings, leaving me with security in  His promises.  I know that we will make it through because of the love and strong family ties we have knit together over the years.

For now, I will continue to revel in  the lazy, comfy, memory-making days because I know that before I even realize it, they will be gone and another year will be upon us with its new adventures waiting in the wings. 

Ahhhhhhhhhh, summer.....

67 Church Street

Just the sight of the white house with green shutters fills me with happiness.  As soon as it is in view, my smile widens and I immediately feel at home.  I approach the back door by walking along the slate sidewalk and anticipate the experiences I will have during this stay.

Throughout our lifetime, this house has been our safe haven.  As young children, we stayed here before heading off to our next military assignment with our parents.  We also visited periodically and I can honestly say that we have many, many fond memories from those times.  I've relived several of those times through listening to my siblings recount them, as I was quite young and don't remember the moments like they do.  However, my love for this house is as strong as theirs is.  This visit, however, was a little different than the rest.  It marks the end of a life that meant so much to me and my family. My sisters and I made a trip to Pennsylvania this past week to attend the funeral of our beloved Aunt BJ.

When we entered the house this time, the silence was deafening.  No welcome from BJ. The warmth seemed to be missing already.  Yet seeing the furniture and quaintly placed knick knacks still brought me joy.  When I walked down the hallway into the foyer, I felt saddened as I noticed the new front door.  No longer a dutch door, it was the first big change I noticed.  I turned towards my favorite spot in this house-the staircase and library at the top of the steps. I began to ascend them.  My heart skipped a beat and I gasped, my chest filling with sorrow.  I wept.   

After a nice hug from my sister, I was ready to go upstairs.  The four of us girls walked through all the bedrooms, opening drawers and peeking into closets looking for the treasures we knew were hidden away.  The pictures, dress up clothes, and memorabilia gave us what we were looking for...familiarity.  Change is so hard.  Especially when the change comes directly from the death of a loved one.  Wallpaper gone, paint in its place, and new curtains in the dining room caught us by surprise.  Moreso than that change was the new house number out front.  Due to some new construction and zoning, the house is no longer #67.  Of course, to us it always will be....

                                                                

Thankfully, even though our Aunt wasn't physically with us, we still felt her presence as we settled in for the night.  We shared some stories, chose our bedrooms and went to sleep.  The next day was her funeral, and we commented on what a peaceful, sound nights sleep we all had.  I was so thankful for that.  The sevice was heartwarming and it was wonderful to hear all about what a faithful servant of the Lord BJ was.  I found it a tribute to God's love for us that my sisters and I were seated in pew number 67.  That is all God! :)

After the fellowship and meal at the church we all gathered at BJ's house to visit and reminisce. It was a time of happiness and fond memories shared.  Of course, the stilts my granddad made by hand were pulled out of the shed for some family fun! It's a tradition you know.

                                                                                   

As I reflect on this trip, I am grateful for so many things.  My salvation most importantly, as well as the love of family.  I have often heard it said that it is a shame when families do not gather together unless it is due to a tragedy.  Maybe so, however I just thank God for the opportunity to rekindle relationships and let those close to us know how much they mean to us.  No matter the miles between us, family is family and I love mine dearly.  Thank you, Aunt BJ and the whole Davies / Calby clan for the memories and the love shared in the past and just recently.  I love you all!

1 Peter 5:10-11  But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.  To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.