Patience...

     Yes, I said it!  The "p" word!  I don't know about you, but that's often a hard one for me.  I am very patient in a lot of areas of my life, and not so much in others.  At the end of this past school year, I received news that my position was cut.  It broke my heart!  I was the Special Ed para (assistant teacher) at my daughter's Elementary School, and absolutely loved it.  I really thought I would be able to work with the children I had built relationships with during this upcoming year and I was looking forward to it! 
     My first reaction was to cry.  I mean the tears just immediately flowed.  I was crushed.  The next thing I did was panic.  I began to wonder what I would do next.  I needed to work, and was unsure of what I could do.  Jobs aren't exactly falling from the sky these days, so I began hunting and searching for something, anything, to ease my fears of no longer having a steady income.
     I'd like to say that I patiently awaited God's prompting, but I didn't this time.  I rushed ahead and began my quest for work.  Maybe I could find something local, like at Kohl's or Target or Pier 1 or Ross...hmmmm, maybe I could apply for something at the hospital since I'd love to be a nurse someday...  I mean thoughts were literally flying through my head a mile a minute.
     "Psssst...Tammy.  Remember me?"  Oh, hi God.  How's it going?  "I am here, you know.  I love you so much.  Do you really think I don't realize what is happening?"  I know, Lord, but I'm scared.  I don't like the unknown, the waiting.  It's so hard for me.  "Yes, I know.  I created you, remember?  I know the things that worry you, that's why I'm here.  I hope you haven't forgotten all of the things I've already brought  you through...I can handle this too!  I'm God, remember?!"
    Wow.  In my rush to figure it all out I didn't even really take time to patiently wait for God to lead me.  Why do I always do that?  Like I know best....He has my best interest at heart and I know that.  I just need to be patient and wait...
     Patience is trusting in God's timing.  What a blessing that is to me!  I don't have to stress and worry and wonder.  He already has it figured out for me!  I can simply pray, trust, and then sit back and wait for Him to show me the way.  Ahhhhhhhh, I feel better already.  :)

"Be still and know that I am God."  ~Psalm 46:10

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11
    

Quiet Time

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28

I close the door to my bedroom and go to the corner of the room where my chair awaits me.  I then strike a match and light some candles, preparing for some time alone with my Lord.  Flipping the switch on the cord starts the gentle flow of water over the scattered rocks within the small fountain on the table beside the chair.  I kneel, bow my head and allow the quiet, rhythmic sound of the water cascading help me escape to a peaceful place in my mind....

Lord, I love this time with You.  When I make time to be with you, purposeful time like this, it is so cleansing and refreshing.  I love to just feel Your presence wash over me.  Sometimes I began praising you right away, other times I am so overcome with emotion, tears stream down my face as I think of the amazing ways You bless me daily.  Thank you for stirring the desire in me to come sit a while with You.  There is nowhere else I can go to completely lose myself than at Your feet, Father.

"O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker. "

Psalm 95:6

I know each of my prayer times won't be this way and that's okay!  Some of my revelations from You have been at my kitchen sink or outside as I'm yanking stubborn weeds out of the ground.  It all depends on where You choose to speak to me.  However, I savor precious moments like the ones I experienced last night.  I plan to make that happen more often, because I know it makes a positive difference in my life.  Thank you sweet Jesus for each and every moment I have with You.