Remembering....

This was written several weeks ago, but came to mind today as I reflect on the last two years since my mom passed away...

 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.   Matthew 5:4

 It amazes me how God cares so much about us.  He sends just what we need, often at unexpected moments.  His timing, however, is always perfect.

Sunlight streams through the window and dances across the kitchen floor. The kids are off to school, my husband has gone to work, and I am home alone preparing to clean up a little. The house is quiet and I am deep in thought. Being at home during the day is a blessing to me.  I am so grateful for the chance to study, catch up on chores, and get the house in order. 

I pull out a blue cloth and a spray container from under the kitchen sink.  Squeezing the trigger on the bottle sends a mist of liquid onto the rag in my hand.  Lavender scent fills the air.  Instantly, tears well up in my eyes and thoughts flood my mind.  Her smile, gentle touch, ability to make delicious food, knowledge about nature, deep love for her family and several other meaningful memories bring warmth to my soul. I will never forget the story my sister told me about my mother’s last night here on earth.

Bedridden and under Hospice care, my sweet mom had fought a hard battle with Alzheimer’s Disease.   The evening before she passed away, a caring nurse came to her bedside and bathed her.  Softly the woman sang to my mother as she gently wiped her skin with lavender oil.  I remember my sister telling me that it brought her to tears to watch this exchange of love and compassion.

I know this morning was a gift from the Lord, because He knows how much I miss my mom.  I know she is restored and with her Savior.  I am grateful for His promises and His Word.  Truly I was comforted with beautiful thoughts of my mommy as I cleaned and became refreshed with the sweet smell of lavender.

Adjusting

It's the daily connection I miss most.  His tall self coming through the door after a night at work, or hearing him say "aight ma.  love you." as he heads out to the store or to hang with friends.  I miss his smile and his laugh. That dry humor that we always share.  I especially miss praying with him each morning and night.

I have done better than I thought I would with him being away at college.  I truly thought I'd cry all the time and have a really hard time adjusting.  It felt like it was the right time when he went, and getting him all settled in went really smoothly.

Just some days.....

I'm truly grateful for the phone calls and texts, no matter how short they might be.  I am thankful that he is doing well and hasn't called begging to come home because he just can't do it.  Really, I have so much to be grateful for.  However, I still miss my baby!

Lord, please continue to shower Your grace, protection and love over my children, all of them.  I ask that you continue to order the steps of the one who no longer is here each day with us.  I can see now, so clearly, where my faith is being strengthened and Your will is being done.  Thank you, Father, for showing me how to train up my kids to know You and love You.  No matter what may come our way, our lives are in Your hands and it is truly a blessing!