Looking back...

I know people often say that it is important not to dwell on the past. A lot of times we are told to focus on what is ahead of us, not letting the past interfere with where we are today. While I agree to a point, I think that reflecting on previous experiences can truly be a blessing.

I have been spending time recently looking back through journals I have kept over the years. Many are filled with scripture and prayers and answers to requests. It has sparked a fire in me to spend more quiet time with the Lord, reading His word and meditating on His promises.

"Loving and patient Father, I'm a little slow sometimes to catch on to what you want me to do. I know you want me to live my life with the same purpose that John lived his; to help prepare people to know Jesus as Lord. Please give me eyes to see those searching for Jesus and a life that beckons them to follow Him. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

"Holy and righteous father, please give me a love for Your truth, and a passion for Your word. Through Your spirit, please enable me to understand and apply your truth in my daily life. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen"

I share these with you in hopes that you will take some time this week to remember a situation that God brought you through and let that blessing give you peace and trust in your heart that He is still with you. Whatever situation you are in right now, trust that God will see you through it.

It Matters....

It really does.  Matter, that is.  It matters a lot, and I guess that's why it's so hard sometimes.  I commit myself to live according to how I feel God wants me to live. I try to do what is right, even though I fail miserably at times.  I care about others and help out whenever I can.  I love the Lord and share that love with anyone who asks and is willing to listen.  I know it matters and I know He is real.  I know that His son died for me.  I know that without a doubt.

What I still have yet to figure out is why things tend to unravel when I feel like I am sharing my faith with others or trying to grow spiritually.  Distractions, confrontations, life experiences that make no sense, issues that sneak up and attack without warning, stressors, and daily little annoyances that try to come between me and what I know to be true.  It's discouraging at times...

Once I have had my 4 minute and 28 second pity party, I lift myself up from the pit of despair and remember that it matters.  I matter.  God matters.  No matter what the world tries to tell me, it matters.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  ~James 1:2-4

Trusting in Him....

My last blog was all about patience.  You know, that difficult thing for me?  I just wanted to share a praise with you!  I am happy to say that I am back at the elementary school working part time!  Praise God and hip, hip, hooray!  :)  It feels like home, and it makes me really excited about all I will experience with the kids this year.  Each day is something new, and I truly learn more from them than I feel like they learn from me!  The team of teachers I work with is amazing and I am so grateful to God for being faithful and true to His Word.

In life, there are no guarantees.  I mean we all have ups and downs and certainly each of us has experienced disappointment at some time in our life.  Knowing that God cares and He will provide for our needs is a comforting thing.  Claiming that promise during this period in my life gave me much needed peace of mind and released the anxiety that slowly crept into my head and attempted to choke out my thoughts and feelings of trust and calm.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me and keeping me close to You.  I'm trusting You now, tomorrow, and forevermore.

Patience...

     Yes, I said it!  The "p" word!  I don't know about you, but that's often a hard one for me.  I am very patient in a lot of areas of my life, and not so much in others.  At the end of this past school year, I received news that my position was cut.  It broke my heart!  I was the Special Ed para (assistant teacher) at my daughter's Elementary School, and absolutely loved it.  I really thought I would be able to work with the children I had built relationships with during this upcoming year and I was looking forward to it! 
     My first reaction was to cry.  I mean the tears just immediately flowed.  I was crushed.  The next thing I did was panic.  I began to wonder what I would do next.  I needed to work, and was unsure of what I could do.  Jobs aren't exactly falling from the sky these days, so I began hunting and searching for something, anything, to ease my fears of no longer having a steady income.
     I'd like to say that I patiently awaited God's prompting, but I didn't this time.  I rushed ahead and began my quest for work.  Maybe I could find something local, like at Kohl's or Target or Pier 1 or Ross...hmmmm, maybe I could apply for something at the hospital since I'd love to be a nurse someday...  I mean thoughts were literally flying through my head a mile a minute.
     "Psssst...Tammy.  Remember me?"  Oh, hi God.  How's it going?  "I am here, you know.  I love you so much.  Do you really think I don't realize what is happening?"  I know, Lord, but I'm scared.  I don't like the unknown, the waiting.  It's so hard for me.  "Yes, I know.  I created you, remember?  I know the things that worry you, that's why I'm here.  I hope you haven't forgotten all of the things I've already brought  you through...I can handle this too!  I'm God, remember?!"
    Wow.  In my rush to figure it all out I didn't even really take time to patiently wait for God to lead me.  Why do I always do that?  Like I know best....He has my best interest at heart and I know that.  I just need to be patient and wait...
     Patience is trusting in God's timing.  What a blessing that is to me!  I don't have to stress and worry and wonder.  He already has it figured out for me!  I can simply pray, trust, and then sit back and wait for Him to show me the way.  Ahhhhhhhh, I feel better already.  :)

"Be still and know that I am God."  ~Psalm 46:10

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11
    

Quiet Time

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28

I close the door to my bedroom and go to the corner of the room where my chair awaits me.  I then strike a match and light some candles, preparing for some time alone with my Lord.  Flipping the switch on the cord starts the gentle flow of water over the scattered rocks within the small fountain on the table beside the chair.  I kneel, bow my head and allow the quiet, rhythmic sound of the water cascading help me escape to a peaceful place in my mind....

Lord, I love this time with You.  When I make time to be with you, purposeful time like this, it is so cleansing and refreshing.  I love to just feel Your presence wash over me.  Sometimes I began praising you right away, other times I am so overcome with emotion, tears stream down my face as I think of the amazing ways You bless me daily.  Thank you for stirring the desire in me to come sit a while with You.  There is nowhere else I can go to completely lose myself than at Your feet, Father.

"O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker. "

Psalm 95:6

I know each of my prayer times won't be this way and that's okay!  Some of my revelations from You have been at my kitchen sink or outside as I'm yanking stubborn weeds out of the ground.  It all depends on where You choose to speak to me.  However, I savor precious moments like the ones I experienced last night.  I plan to make that happen more often, because I know it makes a positive difference in my life.  Thank you sweet Jesus for each and every moment I have with You. 



Queen

Queen

stretching, pulling, feeling unable

to give anymore

bending, sacrificing

never stopping until all needs are met

running, planning, accomplishing tasks

that seem mundane but really

are what matter most

time alone, never often enough

smiling, laughing, hugging

cuddling, crying, soothing

feeling important and loved

thriving, proud, blessed

wanting to shout for joy

for what God has entrusted to me

I would trade nothing for this opportunity

to be wife, mother, and queen

Not again....

Often I find myself wondering why I blow it.  I know it’s coming, and yet I feel powerless at that moment in doing anything to keep it from happening.  I feel the anger, frustration and/or irritability rising inside me.  Even though I know in my heart whatever the situation is really isn’t a very big deal, I make it one because it makes me feel better.

It is such madness, and goes against everything that I know to be true about walking this walk with Christ that means so much to me.  Literally, as soon as the cruel words fly out of my mouth, I wish I could simply reel them back in to release them back to the depths of hell from where they came.  Too late…..damage done.  It hurts me.  I feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  Disappointment and sadness fill my heart.

Lord, I know the things I should be doing.  I know that a gentle answer turns away anger and that I should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.  You said it in your word.  I know it so well.  So why do I lose my patience with my kids?  How do I let hurtful words be my choice when speaking to the ones I love most in life?  Why do I allow myself to let my worldly emotions overtake my heart?

I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing…What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?

                        Romans 7:15-20, 25

Exactly!  For the moment, I am reminded that I am still human and I still sin daily.  I strive to live the way God wants me to, but I do fall short.  How grateful I am that I serve a mighty God who sent His son to save me from myself! 

Whew.  Another day to try to get it right-that is just what I need.  Thank you, Lord, for your continuous grace and mercy.  I am not deserving of it, however I am humbled and grateful for your unconditional love.  Please help me to show the same compassion and love toward my own family.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Problems??

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life...

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being." Proverbs 20:30 (NIV)

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags, if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." James 1:2-3 (Life Application Study Bible)

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned not to touch it by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship, by losing it... "The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your principles. Psalm 119:71 (Life Application Study Bible)

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem, but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..." Genesis 50:20 (NIV)

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope." Romans 3-4 (NIV)


God is at work in your life even when you do not recognize it. Allow Him to guide you and see the blessings come as a result of your obedience.

Peace, joy and blessings to you!

Do you suffer from this syndrome?

I'm quite curious if anyone else out there suffers from "can't turn my brain off" syndrome.  Medical name: gottastopthinkingsomuchitis.  Symptoms: random thoughts, starting multiple projects and not finishing any of them, trying to rest but unable to completely relax and let go, insomnia.  Treatment: rest.

Sounds simple enough.  Just sit down.  You know, without thinking of all the "but I should be doing's."  Pray.  Worship. Take a quick nap.  Read a book.  Or if you're me, try to do one of those things, but get blindsided by those random thoughts again!

In my devotion time this morning, I was reminded of the need to make time to be with God.  Not just a quick check in, but some quality, quiet, focused time with just Him.  When we're overloaded with activity and have no downtime, we are focused on ourselves.  We fly through the day in survival mode, jumping from one thing to the next.  Suddenly, when God whispers to you to do something, you respond this way, "great, another thing to add to my to do list.  I'd like to help you out God, but I'm too busy!"  We end up missing opportunities to serve Him and bless others.

When we purposely add time to be with the Lord, we become available and more focused on what He wants us to do.  You don't have to live in overdrive everyday.  Get out of survival mode and build in some downtime to your schedule.  You'll be better for it!

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7

You gotta start somewhere....

Well, here we go!  I've always wanted to start a blog.  Not because I read them alot or even really know much about them, but mainly because I love to write.  I also love to talk, and sometimes the things I want to get off my mind aren't always things others want to talk about.  I figured here I can share ideas, release some thoughts, open the door to discussion and hopefully grow in knowledge. 

I am a Christian and I try to live my life in a way that please God.  I fall short of that goal daily.  I keep trying though!  Jesus is my homey and my references here will always give Him glory and honor.  My struggles and stories will hopefully show that walking with the Lord is hard, but the rewards are so great!

I hope you'll enjoy your time here, and I'd love some feedback if you feel led to share something.

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"Prayer is for the soul what nourishment is for the body."

I agree!  I used to be very intimidated to pray.  I always thought there was a "right way" to pray, and if I didn't use the correct words or say a fancy enough prayer, God probably wouldn't hear it, let alone respond to it.  I know better now!  Prayer is, for me, a conversation with God.  I start my day giving thanks to Him for waking me up.  I talk to Him like I do a friend.  I lay it all out on the line sometimes too!  He already knows how I'm feeling, so to pretend everything is peachy-keen when I'm actually feeling like I might explode isn't doing me and favors.

I encourage you to take a few minutes, right now if you want, to just say a quick prayer.  Maybe you have a blessing you are grateful for, maybe you are concerned about an important matter in your life.  Perhaps you aren't sure how to take the next step.  God knows your needs.  Just go to Him and ask Him to guide you.  You might as well give your cares and concerns to Him.  He's gonna be up all night anyway! :)

Have a truly blessed day.....