Sometimes....

Sometimes I feel you.

Your warmth, compassion, love, tenderness.

This morning as I watched the sun peek through the trees I thought of you.  The change of seasons always makes me miss you a little more.  With change comes pain sometimes.

When you left us three years ago, my heart broke.  The fact that you were restored and brought home to your Lord gave me  peace, but oh how I miss you...

When I have meaningful conversations with my own children I sense your presence.  I can hear your voice in my head and find words to encourage, console, teach and challenge them.  I thank God for you and how much you showed me about being a mommy.

Unconditional love.  Yes, that.

At work, I treat the children in my care as if they were my own.  You taught me that.  Everyone deserves love and a chance, even at the times they seem the most undeserving.  No, especially at those times.  Right, mom?  It's the hardest thing to do sometimes, but it matters.  I'm so glad to have learned that from you!

So much is running through my head today.  Faith, family, mistakes, attempts, failures, perseverance, questions, laughter, tears, emptiness, happiness, gratefulness, confusion, grace, mercy, love.

I wish you were still here.  I have so many things I want to tell you and ask you and see what you would do and say and think.  Instead, I'll sit still and listen for your voice, and feel your love, that I carry with me in my heart.

I love you always, mom.  Thank you for still showing me the way...


The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.  Psalm 34:18