Knowing

How do you know?  I mean, really know for sure? 

When you're waiting on an answer, or a clear direction from God, how do you know when it comes?

I've been able to be still more often this past week than I have in a long time.  I've prayed and waited, and actually just been patient to see how God will move in the areas I have lifted up to Him.  I know without a doubt that He is with me and that He is faithful, so my questions don't involve whether I think I will hear from Him.  I already know that I will. They are just questions about how I am supposed to know that it is truly from Him, and not just the first thing that happens to come up in my mind...

In the past, I've based decisions on several things when waiting to hear from the Lord.  I first see how the situation lines up with God's Word. Then I pay attention to the peace I feel within me when an answer comes. I know He is not a God of confusion, so if it seems completely off base from anything He would ask me to do, I know without a doubt that it isn't from Him.

So tonight I'm just wondering why I'm having a hard time seeing His will for me right now.  Maybe I'm being selfish.  Could it be that I am so stubborn I just can't see past a calling to do that which is a challenge to me?  Or possibly I am learning how to be strong in my faith and stand for what I know to be true and worthy of the Lord's leading.  Why is this such a struggle for me?

I will continue to pray, seek, wait, listen and pay close attention to the way God is speaking to me.  The more I am able to release control and place my focus on what God desires for me, the nearer I will be to my answer.  Until I am sure it comes, my journal will keep filling up, my Bible will stay open and I will remain steadfast in my willingness to faithfully follow my Savior.

In your life, what confirms that you have heard from God in situations you've asked Him about?  

Jeremiah 33:3  Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.

Psalm 37:7  Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:23-24 The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Soul searching...

It began after church today.  Sometimes it follows a conversation, other times it just happens because I am thinking about a profound topic.  Either that, or I'm once again tossing thoughts around in my head.  I get that feeling of wanting to be still and really take time to reflect on my blessings.  The place I wanted to go was crystal clear to me...

For me, there is something truly special about being near the water.  As soon as I get there, I am transported to a quiet place in my mind.  I gaze out across the expanse and feel my cares just leave me.  I realized today how much it means to me to have time to think and ponder where I am and where I am going. 

Right now, today, there are things about me that I am happy with, and then there are others that make me cringe.  Especially since today is Sunday, and I was in church this morning, it resonates deep within me just how far I still need to go to get right with God, and with how He intends for me to live.

I still question too much.  Why are things like they are?  How come the same emotions still slam into me like an unexpected wave would when my back is turned?  What sense does it make that I can encourage others and pray for them, giving scripture and advice, yet I sometimes struggle to apply that to my own life?  How long will I feel completely full of the Lord and His strength one moment, only to buckle at the first sign of conflict, bad news,  or a challenging life situation the next?

I love how God knows my deepest feelings and thoughts.  Right when I need some reassurance, He provides it through a word, a person, or a situation which shows me that His timing is perfect.  Today, a great blue heron flew across the water, right in front of where I was sitting.  I instantly felt calm and smiled because my mom loved those birds and whenever I see one, I think of her.  It may seem silly to you, but for me it was a beautiful blessing from God.  A reminder, if you will, of where I've been and what He has brought me through.

I know God's promises are true and real.  I know, without a doubt, that He is Almighty and that He loves me unconditionally.  Therefore, I have reassurance from the most vital place - from my Father.  I cannot find completeness anywhere else.  I've tried.  Numerous times!  It is when I surrender my fears, doubts, anger, frustration, control and worries to Him that I am able to finally release it all and walk faithfully forward, ready for life and all the experiences that come my way.

This is a process.  We have to be willing to let go and let God, literally, so we don't miss what He has for us.  I am just so thankful for His patience with me!  Now if only I could be that patient with myself...

Anyone else find quiet time to be helpful?  What is your favorite way to relax and refresh when you have a lot on your mind?

Off to Oberlin...

So here I am, preparing my heart and mind to take my son to college tomorrow.  This day snuck up on me!  I thought I was ready, but whew, it arrived so fast...

I remember when I gave birth to Cory.  He arrived in this world only 17 minutes after I was admitted to the hospital!  I worried then that I wouldn't have enough love to give him after already having one child.  Cory brought spunk and excitement to our lives, and seeing him interact and grow with us was wonderful! God was working on my heart then, just as He is now, showing me that indeed He is with me and will provide all I need to get through this moment. 

The fact that Cory is heading to Oberlin Conservatory to study opera makes perfect sense.  When he was a baby, he often screeched at the top of his lungs for seemingly no apparent reason. Now I feel like it was so he could develop his lungs to carry him right to this place in his life. :)

My emotions are flowing from panic to joy, and from sadness to nervousness.  Did I do enough to prepare him?  Have I shown him what is really important in life?  Is he ready?  Am I?  I know it's selfish of me to want him to stay here, but part of me does!

It is when I get caught up in worry that I hear God's voice.  "Be still, Tammy," He tells me.  "I've got this!"  Of course you do, Lord! It's not about me, it's about him.  I know without a doubt that God loves my kids much more than I every could hope to.  He will watch over them always, and provide for their needs as only He can.

Lord, thank You so much for encouraging me and  reminding me that Cory is in Your hands.  He is ready for this adventure, and I can trust You to go before him, and me, as we walk this journey together.  You are faithful, Lord, and it is amazes me to know that my kids know You and love You.  I am grateful for the assurance that all is well as long as I keep focused on You and Your promises.  I look forward eagerly to hear about his fabulous first year in college. 

Tomorrow I take my son to pursue his dreams, and that is a wonderful thing!  He is becoming an incredible man, and I am truly blessed!

Jen Hatmaker - Interrupted

I am currently reading Jen Hatmaker's book, Interrupted.  It is opening my eyes to some new ways of thinking about what it really means to walk this life as a Christian.  I encourage you to check it out! 

What would you struggle to give up if Jesus wanted to use your life to make a difference in the world?

Here is a link to take advantage of a 20% discount on the book, good through July 31st.  Enjoy!

http://www.navpress.com/Interrupted-Jesus-Wrecks-Comfortable-Christianity/dp/1631463535#sthash.YlSuqLyC.HhbKLM8t.dpbs

Change

 

change - (verb)  to become different; to become altered or modified.

 

 

Face it, most people can't stand it. 

I mean, if you utter the word "change," they shudder.  It means having to accept something you weren't expecting.  Or maybe you were, but are now unable to deal with the transition into something new and different.

The past year has brought several changes for me personally.  I took on some challenges, and by the grace of God, I made it through.  I am grateful for the lessons learned. 

The unknown is what throws me when change occurs.  I find myself going over as many scenarios as I can in my head, trying to prepare myself for anything and everything I can think of so I will be ready.  Quickly I realize that I cannot control the outcome of most of the situations! 

Swiftly, my faith kicks in and I am reminded that God truly is in control. My best choice is to seek Him and trust Him each step of the way, regardless of how I am feeling, no matter how the circumstances look from my point of view.

Change.  When it is thrust upon you incidentally, the results can be intimidating, dreadful, unexpected and traumatic.  However, they can also be invigorating, liberating, life-changing, and interesting.  Truly, the outcome depends on your attitude. 

Making big life changes can be scary, however, if your focus is in the right place, change can bring about a transformation that will cause you to grow and develop further.  This will allow your gifts and talents to be used in ways that can bless others and bring positivity to the world. 

To anyone currently facing big changes in life, embrace them wholeheartedly, face them with a positive mindset and be ready to receive what comes along with them, whether good or bad.  God is with you, and He will lead you through whatever comes your way. Believe it!


 


How does change affect you?  Any tips on how you get through major changes in your life?

focus...or lack thereof

Anyone else out there suffer from iwanttodoitall syndrome?  You know, all the fabulous ideas you have that you really want to complete but you get sidetracked with life in general?  Or is it just me?

I realized today that I have trouble focusing (shocker, I know, to those of you who know me well!) and I need to improve in that area.  I'm the world's greatest list maker and thinker of things that are important to accomplish, however my follow through is not up to par.

The first part of my problem is that I love to read and write and I get online to check emails and take care of business and then end up on Facebook and before I know it, I've wasted an hour of my time.  There is no denying it anymore - I'm a junkie!  I enjoy reading about the lives of my family members and friends.  I get a kick out of the stories and clips of great things that people are up to.  I tell myself I'll only check a couple of pages, then I'm all wrapped up in scrolling forever.  I.Must.Stop.

Another issue that is  keeping me from attaining  my goals is my attention span.  I will begin a task in one room, and then find myself taking an object to another room where I am suddenly sucked in to putting out a different fire there.  Someone help me!  lol

I feel as though this past year at work just scrambled my brain.  I am convinced, however, that it is possible to get back on track.  I am committed to continue to begin my day with prayer, God's Word and quiet time.  It is what grounds me and starts me thinking of my Lord, drawing strength from His promises.  Now if I can just find the strength to unplug and focus on what I need to get done....Pray for me y'all! 

How do  you stay focused??  Can you share some tips me?!

Matthew 6:33  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Dear School Board.....

May 27, 2014

Hello.  My name is Tamara Lancaster.  Here is my story…

 

I am a child of God.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

I am a sister.

I am a daughter.

I am a friend.

I am a paraprofessional in the Autism classroom.

I am worthy.

I am important.

I am trustworthy.

I am reliable.

I am patient.

I am kindhearted.

I am willing.

I am committed.

I am funny.

I am compassionate.

I am dedicated.

I am able.

I am calm.

I am reassuring.

I am creative.

I am strong.

I am interested.

I am supportive.

I am delighted.

I am emotional.

I am frustrated.

I am resentful.

I am tired.

I am angry.

I am confused.

I am in need of answers.

 

How on earth do you expect me, as well as my friends and co-workers, to continue to make a positive difference in the lives of young children?  How do you suggest we continue to offer every part of our being to the students and families we serve, knowing we are not valued monetarily or supported in our efforts?  How dare you suppose that what you are currently offering us will be accepted and considered fair?  How can you lay your heads on your pillows at night knowing you did not stand up and make your voices heard regarding the numerous concerns your county employees have mentioned to you?  For those of you with children, how can you accept mediocrity from your school board officials, knowing it is negatively affecting your own kids?

Why are you tolerant of the ludicrous pay scale?  Why do businesses continue to take precedence over our children – our future?  Why does the almighty dollar mean more than the education and well-being of the numerous children and families that demand our time and talents each day?  When was the last time any of you stepped foot into a classroom and actually took a moment to see how amazing we are?  Instead of continuing to insist that teachers collect data and create binders to show you how incredible they are, how about you actually COME AND WATCH THEM TEACH THE CHILDREN IN THEIR CARE?

Come see them greet the children by name each morning, console an upset student because of something that happened on the way to school, engage their classes into meaningful lessons that will positively impact them, and present topics that are interesting, creative and important.  Check out how well they handle all of the disruptive behavior issues in their classes.  See how they manage to reach the low students who need support while still engaging and challenging those who are higher thinkers. Watch how well they manage classrooms filled with 28, 29, 30+ students by themselves.

I invite you to walk with me as I physically, emotionally and intellectually interact with the incredible students I work with daily who happen to have Autism.  Watch as I encourage them to read, recall details, add, subtract, build, create, move, eat, use the bathroom, attend specials (PE, Music, Library, Art) and learn with their peers.  There is no down time in my day.  I accompany these beautiful, bright, fabulous children throughout their day from the class to the cafeteria, the bathroom and beyond.  I hit the ground running, and don’t stop until I escort my last student safely to their vehicle at the end of the day.

We are expected to perform at higher standards with lower pay, now increasing class sizes, and added stressors such as testing, data compilation and more meetings that just take away from the art we so love…TEACHING!  It is beyond time for a change.  We simply cannot do it alone.  We must have your support, encouragement and commitment to ensuring that our needs are met.  You will not regret it!  I guarantee it. 

The saddest thing to me is that I am now facing a decision to have to leave a profession that I love in order for my own children not to suffer due to my lack of funds.  What a crime that is.  Even worse, I know if I do leave, a replacement would soon be sought, without regard for any of the dedicated service I have given SCPS, knowing they can easily replace my position.  Well guess what?  You can hire another paraprofessional, but you will lose out on an incredible employee who absolutely adores what she does each day.  I know I am making a positive difference in the lives of young children, and in the kingdom of heaven.  Too bad I have to choose something different just to survive….shame, shame, shame.

 

Sincerely and with an eager, hopeful heart,

 

Tamara Lancaster

 

Easter, Spring and other stuff

Spring has sprung and I am feeling truly blessed and grateful.  This post will most likely be all over the place, but so is my mind these days! lol

Today my family went to church at 8:00.  Yep, that's 8 a.m.  Shocker, I know.  I am so glad we got up and went together.  We then had a nice breakfast out, enjoying great food and even better conversation combined with laughter.  It means the world to me to have moments like this.  I tuck them away in my heart to recall when I need a pick me up.

Today's weather was basically perfect to me and I spent time outside planting flowers.  I am very indecisive so I am thankful for my husband who helped me choose different types of plants to buy.  With gospel music playing in my ears and the sun shining down on my face, I was definitely in my happy place!  An unexpected visit from a student who attends the school I work in topped off my outside landscape experience.  She, her mom, and Nana were out walking her sweet all black pug puppy and seeing them was a bright spot in my day!

I took a nice afternoon run once my yard duties were done, After being out of the loop for a couple weeks it took a bit of extra effort on some of the hills I encountered while running.  How is it that one can work so hard to exercise and stay in shape, yet find themselves feeling like a slug after only two weeks of inactivity?  Seems a little unfair to me!  I mean shouldn't all the running and weight lifting last for a much longer period of time?!

We cooked on the grill today and were pleasantly surprised by a visit from Mamaw and Papaw.  It is always a blessing to chat with them.  :)  The fact that we still have a close relationship is so meaningful to me.

As I currently sit and reflect about the significance of today, I am reminded about several things. I am a sinner and am so grateful for a Savior who chose the cross for me.  He didn't stay there, however! He rose again on the third day and praise God He lives today!  It is sometimes incomprehensible to take in the sacrifice made by Jesus.  I think that is why I am saddened when people refuse to believe or even acknowledge His existence. 

A lot of people get caught up in "religion" and try to live their lives as good people.  It is a great idea to treat others kindly and to do all you can to make a positive difference in the world.  Compassion, sacrifice, love and helpfulness are important.  For me, I think the difference in being a Christian vs. being "religious" or an unbeliever boils down to one thing - Jesus!  If your goal in life is to be a good person and work hard while helping others, then that is great!  We all should, in my opinion, treat others how we would like to be treated.  We each should strive to be the best we can be, and assist others along the way as needed. It goes further than that to me, however.

If you want to be sure of where you will spend eternity once you leave this earth, then there is only one way to spend it in heaven with God.  That way is to accept His Son as your Lord and Savior.  Jesus alone saves you.  Not your efforts, what you own, how much money you have, how many good deeds you do each day, or how much you consider yourself a "good person."  Truly, claiming Jesus as your Savior is the only way.

There are many ways to worship, praise, serve and live for Jesus.  Sharing His goodness with others is of vital importance and we are called to go out and share the good news with everyone.  Just make sure you always remember that there is only one way to the Father, and that is to come through His Son, Jesus.  You might not like that fact, or want to submit to that authority, but if you want to live forever, it is what you must do.

As I end this post I am mindful of how much my walk with the Lord means to me.  Without Him, I am nothing.  With Him, I am complete and can do all things with His strength and equipping.  For that, I am grateful!  May you each reflect on your relationship with God as we come to the end of this Resurrection Sunday. 

Blessings, peace and joy to you! 

just turn it off

 it runs all the time

especially when I don't want it to

the less I try to think about it

the more I find that I do.

like an illuminated sign

flashing continuously it's message

it just goes, and goes, and goes

my thoughts it constantly transgresses.

before I know it, I am stuck

thinking surely I will master

the unproductive worry

which is always a disaster.

I tell myself over and over again

to let it go, its gonna be fine

then my mind says 'yes, honey'

from this thinking just resign!

 

 

 

can anyone out there relate?  #teamworrynomore

God is good...

 

 

So often in life we go through trials.  Sometimes big, sometimes small, but we face things that are tough for us to handle.  Trust me and believe that no matter what, God is still good.  He does not change.  He gives us the strength we need to make it and He loves us so much!

Didn't get that job you wanted?  Still arguing with your spouse, child, sibling, friend, co-worker?  Child overlooked for that team or position they tried out for?  Still trying to lose that weight?  Kids not listening to you or making unwise choices?  Exhausted from working two jobs or more and being a single parent?  Marriage not working out?  Struggling in school?  Unsure about the next move to make?  I suggest you give it to the One who can help you.

Find your favorite spot to relax.  Wherever that may be, go there and simply sit.  Stay still and be quiet.  Close your eyes and simply call on the name of the Lord.  If you're able, name whatever it is that is hurting you right now.  Just let it all out.  He can handle it!  If you aren't able to get the words out, it's okay.  He knows your heart and will help you anyway.  I know personally, my tears speak volumes...

Our lives are filled with ups and downs.  They will always be there.  However, we serve a mighty God who is bigger and  more powerful than any circumstance we may come across.  Often we wonder why we have to experience these moments, and honestly we may not ever get an answer to why it is happening.  However, we can rely on God to lead us out of the situation with a renewed mind and thought process.  Will it be easy and pain free?  Probably not.  It will get better with time.  If you can keep in mind that no matter what, God is good, you will be able to make it through these tension filled moments in your life.

Making it through dark days makes the light shine even brighter.  Reach out to God and see how He will give you what you need for any situation you are in right now.  He is good, all the time...

just happy

So I'm sitting here in complete denial that I have to go back to work tomorrow after a wonderful Christmas break.  I have spent quality time with family and friends and truly give thanks to God for a restful, refreshing respite.

I went into this break with several "to do" items that I wanted to get done.  Didn't do any of them. Guess what?  I am fine with that.  Might seem silly, but that is big for me.  I am a control freak and like to make lists of things to do and feel pure joy when I cross each item off the list!  I've decided that I need to learn to go with the flow more and not get consumed with trying to be perfect and all betty crockerish.

I am not one to make new year's resolutions.  Not that there is anything wrong with them, or with the people who choose to make them, but for me it stresses me out not to follow through with things I commit to doing.  I have just decided to focus on changing my thought process and seeing what happens!

For the first time ever, I did not buy a paper desk calendar to start the new year.  Who cares, right?  Well, I am a paper/pencil kind of chick that loves to write everything down, so it is a huge deal for me.  I am trying to embrace the technology world I live in.  It's hard.  I am convinced that I will make it work though!  Pray for me!

I want to whine less, and pray more.  I want to see the good in every situation, especially ones that challenge me intellectually.  I want to be bold and tell the world how much my Savior means to me. I want to meet the needs of those I care most about, and have them feel the genuine love and heartfelt joy I have for them.  I want to enjoy life, even the messy, hard, confusing parts of it.  I want to publish my book. I want to write more.  I want to just embrace what makes people different and unique and stop fighting against what doesn't make sense to me.  I want to learn new skills.  I want to make changes to things that shake me at my core and bother me because they are wrong.  I want to eat healthier and be more creative in the kitchen.  I want to make a positive difference in this world.  I want to be a Child Life Specialist.  And an OR Tech. And a youth minister.  And a trauma surgeon. And an author.  And a patient advocate.  And an encourager.  But most of all I want to be the best Christian wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and woman I can be.

2014, I am ready for you.  I am a daughter of the King, and no matter what may come my way, my life is in His hands.  I am loved, blessed and equipped to handle anything.  :)